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  • admin 6:50 am on June 3, 2013
    Tags: oven, stuffing, Thanksgiving, traditional feast, turkey   

    One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister’s house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven. She removed the [...]

    Continue reading The Pregnant Turkey
     
  • admin 11:31 am on March 28, 2013
    Tags: accident, drunk staggers, Eyes, Guinness, , Irish, pounds, terrible, welcome, yourself   

    Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he’d just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he’s walking with a limp. “What happened to you?” asks Sean, the bartender. “Jamie O’Conner and me had a fight,” says [...]

    Continue reading When Irish Eyes Are Smiling
     
  • admin 11:28 am on March 28, 2013
    Tags: aim, category, driving, everywhere, fat, friends, liters, Lose Weight, neighbors, program   

    It is recommended to know why you intend to reduce weight. For anyone who is motivated everyday you simply can’t don’t succeed. Arranged an amount of excess fat you should get rid of in a distinct time period. At some point you will notice that you will be advancing towards the aim and will also [...]

    Continue reading 3 Methodical Suggestions To Lose Weight Proficiently
     
  • admin 11:25 am on March 28, 2013
    Tags: boots, brother, Centipede, football team, legs, , sentrypede, This little Piggy, throat, toothache   

    Why was the centipede late? Because he was playing “This little Piggy” with his baby brother! What do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot? A walkie talkie! What is worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? A centipede with chilblains! What has 50 legs but cant walk? Half a centipede! [...]

    Continue reading Centipede Jokes
     
  • admin 8:25 am on March 27, 2013
    Tags: , home, hoping, impregnate, pigs, pregnant, returning, Seeing, standing, weeks   

    A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham and bacon. After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn’t have the slightest idea what this means but, not [...]

    Continue reading Pigs
     
  • admin 8:22 am on March 27, 2013
    Tags: , , Every, least, Nothing, obscenity, , received, vocabulary, word   

    David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an obscenity. Those that weren’t expletives, were to say the least, rude. David tried hard to change the bird’s attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could [...]

    Continue reading The Rude Parrot
     
  • admin 8:16 am on March 8, 2013
    Tags: cheese, Dog, dumb, handsome male dogs, poodle, three suitors   

    Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty, [...]

    Continue reading Three Dog Night
     
  • admin 6:55 am on January 29, 2013
    Tags: a cup of coffee, back seat, cheek, downstairs, , jail, kitchen, robe, shotgun, wipe a tear   

    A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She saw him wipe [...]

    Continue reading I would have gotten out today
     
  • admin 6:30 am on January 21, 2013
    Tags: alcohol, chocolate, cigarette, clean soil, minister, smoke, Sunday sermon, worms   

    A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The [...]

    Continue reading Four Worms and a lesson to be learned
     
  • admin 11:27 am on January 12, 2013
    Tags: car accident, client, cow, , highway, lawyer, Patrolman   

    A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company’s fancy hot shot lawyer, was questioning Clyde. “Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine,’?” asked the lawyer. Clyde responded, “Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite cow, Bessie, into the…” “I didn’t ask [...]

    Continue reading What Would You Say
     
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